its 2am, and once again, i’m not going to have a comic done tonight. I am so fsking frustrated by this. i was doing so well earlier, i had half the drawings done in plenty of time, then i had one fucking frame, ONE FRAME, that took 2 and a half hours. And after all that work, it really doesn’t look that good. subsequent frames dont look that good either. I still have one frame to do! I have good days, and i have bad days, thats fine, but days where you are in a groove then suddenly fall out of it and go skidding across the gravel on your face just… sucks.

I can’t for the life of me figure out how I can go from doing really well for several hours, then for no reason whatsoever things stop working. I dont know if it’s subconscious, a sad reality of my total lack of professionalism and any real training… i don’t know. Even with everything else i did today, this comic should have been on time, but its not. There is no goddamn excuse, and i dont make any, it’s just not done and readers aren’t the only ones disappointed.

pardon my rant, but im tired, and i’m upset. This happens a lot, really. i always feel this way when i dont have a comic done by 1am, and you know how many comics i’ve finished by 1am in the past few months. Not many. Kinda sad that almost every comic i do is accompanied by some level of upsetment and stress because of my own incompetence. Maybe its better if people don’t know that. Might explain why im so sensitive to criticism. ^^;;

(i shoudn’t post this, but i will. blogs should be what they are. For the MT site i filter out this kind of stuff, because its been made very clear to me that people do not wanna hear it anymore. Lotta people dont want to hear what i’m really like, just some kinda filtered nirvana version that doesn’t make them want to smack me. The realities of what a person is can be less impressive than the reality, as we all know. No one reads this site so i should be fairly safe to post it here.)

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Posted by fredrin on December 31st, 2004 :: Filed under Daily Blogging

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Nothing more interesting that scripting this morning. Whatever this cold is that i had much of the week, it seems to come in waves. i was fine tuesday, but yesterday i felt like hell (i was really wobbly last night, and some benadryl was enough to really put me down to totally useless ^^;;) Today i feel a lot better, in fact i had enough energy this morning to clean up around the apartment. Today is gonna be way too busy. Not only do i have to do a comic today, but i have to help Sarah with end of year stuff, inventory, and some final tweaks on the new Megagear website. Ugh, the list just keeps getting longer. Anyways, it wont get done if i dont get to work. Tomorrows comic should be fun

- pirotunes: Pete Namlook & Richie Hawtin – Do Bassdrums Have Feelings -

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Posted by fredrin on December 30th, 2004 :: Filed under Daily Blogging

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