on mildly drowning inside
I apologize once again for not maintaining my daily blogging for the past month or so. Not that i owe anyone blog entries, but it is my desire to do a daily blog, so… you know. 
Not surprisingly, i’ve also been avoiding rantage on the Megatokyo site too. Bummer. So much for that resolution. I think it was dead and buried back in February.
Why? Well, for the most part, I’ve been that busy. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with work, much of that getting settled into our new place and the every day work required to keep Megatokyo and the Megagear store going. The kicker recently has been my struggles with writing. In the past year, i haven’t been struggling with the art like i used to. My ability to express myself through my drawings is better than it used to be. I don’t find myself struggling with it the way i had at times in the past. The writing is also, i think, better… but that doesn’t mean it’s hasn’t involved a lot of hair pulling and head-to-desk action.
My problem is that i’m an emotive writer. I could look at an outline all day and get zip from it. Laying out details and stats about characters, situations, scripted scenarios and other things don’t help me write a damn thing. They are required, to a point, to give structure and a framework to a story, but the real meat of it requires something more. I have to live the story through a process of drawing and muddling — an inexact science that i’m amazed that produces anything at all, nevermind readable comics. I’m sure any professional writer or artist would be appalled by my working style. 
I know i’ve produced something like 600 or so comics in the past 4-5 years, and from that you could almost say that i’m reliable at what i do… but i still panic a little everytime i sit down to do a comic. I often have no idea if a comic is going to take 8 hours or 18. I wish i had a better handle on the writing process, but then again, maybe i don’t. This is how i work, and i manage to struggle thru it each and every time. Maybe they wouldn’t be the same if i didn’t have to struggle with them so.
Anyways, i feel like i’ve been drifting to the surface again recently, and i feel like communicating again. Whee
- pirotunes: Endura - The Watcher & The Watched - The Watcher -
April 23rd, 2005 at 10:34 pm
Well… I *could* say thats why its art, not an assembly line. No help there of course … producing art on a schedule is just difficult. I can only compare it to software development (since I’m lousy at art and never know where I’m going to end up when I start an art project)… even if I have the requirements and interface all worked out — that damned blank screen is my own personal demon. Approaching something like MT… I’d have an entire wall of penciled storyboard so I could see entire arcs at once.
I will say the last two strips have been stellar so the torture must work
April 23rd, 2005 at 10:40 pm
I understand what your going through Fred. Hang in there, things will become less busy…I hope^^
April 23rd, 2005 at 10:54 pm
If it’s the price you must pay for maintaining believable characters without normalizing the plott, then I suppose you’ll just have to muddle through. Courage.
April 24th, 2005 at 12:33 am
Quote Vexx:
I will say the last two strips have been stellar so the torture must work
I have to agree with vexx, i’m realllllly getting excited by last week’s! Kimiko has gotten many more kudos in my book for standing up for something she believes in ^_^
and hey fred, glad to hear your voice surface again… of course we can hear you talking though the comic, but when you rant it’s something a little different that is enjoyable. I hope everything settles down for you very soon.
April 24th, 2005 at 1:19 am
Neil Gaiman’s mentioned on his blog that he doesn’t really write outlines anymore; he might have an end in mind, and some key scenes/events that happen on the way, but the rest just evolves in the writing.
Not that my opinion matters, but I think your writing (and art) is better than it’s ever been right now. ^_^
April 24th, 2005 at 1:47 am
Just watched Mahoraba #12 … and saw a lovely little homage to my favorite kendo-girl Motoko in Love Hina. There’s probably other little easter eggs but that one made my day.
April 24th, 2005 at 3:02 am
A sorta know how hard writing an enjoyable script is like. Man, it can become a pain. Sometimes you just gotta go back to the “resources” to get stuff.
Ah…memories of Love Hina. The good old days…ganbatte kudasai fred-rin! XD
April 24th, 2005 at 3:04 am
and yes “the last two strips have been stellar so the torture must work :)”
April 24th, 2005 at 4:40 am
agreed with all above, the last few strips have been great. as for the torture of writing, i think i understand where you’re coming from a little bit. i get the feeling my writing is in need of a ‘just draw and go with it’ approach. many things are pre-planned and the story’s pretty much laid out at my feet but i’ll be damned if i can script the lil bugger. either way, keep it up and can’t wait for monday.
April 24th, 2005 at 5:02 am
This is where I scowled:
“I’m sure any professional writer or artist would be appalled by my working style. :P”
Fredling — I’m a professional writer myself, remember? *pokepokepoke* I can tell you the only rule there is when it comes to producing work you’re satisfied with is that you do it HOWEVER IT WORKS FOR YOU. There *is* no rassumfrassum set process for creativity, regardless of what the subject matter is: there’s just whatever method happens to get it done for the individual writer. That’s it. Seriously. Just as not everyone learns the same way, so not everyone creates the same way. Museums wouldn’t exist if that were the case: nothing’d be worth displaying because everything would look the same.
That said, you know where to find me if you ever need a sounding board for ideas. Not that I think you do, but the offer’s open.
April 24th, 2005 at 6:21 am
Yo, Piro.
Can
April 24th, 2005 at 6:22 am
Yo Piro.
Check out the mail support@megagear.com.
A store here in sweden have mailed you about the gears.
Sartas
April 24th, 2005 at 7:07 am
Wai!
Managed to watch 2 ep of Mahoraba yesterday, 1 episode of TMP, and 1 of Tsubasa Chronicles (I’ve got high expectations of that show)!
And I was also able to get a comic up today as well!
But I’m not gonna post a link to it here… cause I know my bandwidth wont last 5 min with you lot… No offence…
I kinda know a bit of your pain fred (hell I cant even get into any kind of regular update schedule at the moment… not even once a week…)
But what Nishiko said is right!
Different people make things in different ways… This holds true to allmost everything… (thats why Systems Analysis and Design is such a hard unit at collage…) So, just do it whatever way you can!
April 24th, 2005 at 12:23 pm
Somethings never change…
Well it just serves me right not to have read up on the dates. It just seemed so recent compared to your rants on the main MT page.
Personally, I know you put a lot of hard-work into what you do and chaos always comes in triplicate. (Think forums crashing)
And since I know you are a busy guy Mr. Gallagher (I say this since I dont know you f2f or personally), I shall leave you to your vast schedule of comic art and more mundane stuff to do.
I salut you good Sir.
April 24th, 2005 at 7:43 pm
Fred, you said you write from the emotions that you feel and perceive from your surroundings; who doesn
April 25th, 2005 at 1:18 am
Think of it as therapy for Fred.. He *could* be spending thousands of dollars on specialists but instead he’s spending it on servers and bandwidth and sharing his therapy with us…
… or at least blowing off steam
April 25th, 2005 at 6:53 am
yay for communication. lol and yay for Kimiko! Whoooo!
April 25th, 2005 at 12:22 pm
It’s ok Fred, you are human. ^^; No one expects you to be Super Ultra Comic Artist Man or anything. You do things your own way, I assure you that it must work because I love what you do with the story. Don’t work too hard!