fredart : blogbits

Last night, after wandering aimlessly through the local Borders store near closing time, i was surprised to find a CD that I swear i’ve looked for there before - Imperative Reaction’s latest disk “Redemption”. More industrial synthpop to feed my silly angst. (speaking of IR, if you check out the lyrics to “diminish me” off of the “Ruined” disk, you’d swear that the song was written for a certain character of mine

As usual, i also meandered through the manga section. I picked up Genshiken volume 1. I love Genshiken, if only for the reason it is exactly the kind of Manga that Kimiko would give Shimoku Kio a serious verbal lashing about That and for Ohno-chan. The nice thing about Manga is you can read it fairly quickly, so it’s easier to find cracks in your time to read chunks of them. Anime is a bit more of a pain… Cortana is trying to get me hooked on Gokujo Seitokai… damn them. It’s bad enough he taunts me with other things . No, i don’t want one for my desk. Really.

I spent most of the day yesterday turning over dirt and cultivating this garden area in the backyard. I tell you, i have a lot of respect for people who’ve made their living digging ditches throughout history, for farmers who who in ages past used to have to do this stuff by hand, and for hydraulic power equipment. I always joke with Seraphim that i want to get a skid steer loader… I think i know what i’d do with it now

I make that link in jest, because about six months ago i had made a link to the Caterpillar front page (CAT makes, like, most of the world’s heavy machinery) in a rant as part of a joke about how i felt like the week had run me down with a front end loader. A week later i got an email from someone at CAT wondering where the hell all the traffic was coming from After a few emails explaining things, he said that it’s too bad that the traffic wasn’t getting there via paid advertising - i probably could have bought one of their base skid-steer loaders for all the click-thrus.

Damn. now he tells me

- pirotunes: Silent Records - Ambient Temple Of Imagination - Thee All Importance Of Imaginat -

One of the problems with the Fruits Basket manga is how long it take to get to any of the really interesting stuff. I could care less about Yuki and Kyo and the rest of the boys and thier lame problems - i wanna know about Hana-chan, and Rin. I’ve had enough Tohru to last me a lifetime now.

That said, yay for volume 9! It shouldn’t be THAT big of a deal for me - after all, i did steal all of Dom’s japanese Fruits Baskets volumes, so i have all of it already -but it is nice to be able to just read through it in english. I love Hana-chan’s backstory, and it’s nice that Takaya-san spent the time on it that she did. Yeah, yeah, Hana-chan is my fave FB character. So shoot me.

I have a stellar idea for a side story for Hana-chan. Too bad i have enough trouble finishing my own ideas. Kind of like i have some really oddball ideas for a Mahoraba side story too… i guess you can always tell your faves, and stories that you enjoy by the fact that they inspire you to do something more with them.

Last year i gave a drawing i did of Hana-chan to Daichi-san (the director of the Fruits Basket anime). Yknow, i wonder what happens to those when you give them to people. I have a large stack of drawings, sketches, paintings and other artwork that people have given me over the years, and to this date i still haven’t got around to going through it all and scanning, posting and organizing them the way i should.

At least i take better care of them than i do my own drawings.

I should get busy on my MT rant. I still have some kind of major reluctance to write them. i still don’t understand why… Kinda sucks being afraid of your own website, isn’t it?

- pirotunes: Solitaire - Fearless -

Well, yesterday, I took a day off.

I hadn’t really planned to, and usually when i talk about taking days off, it is comic production days (which result in missed comics). This was one of those inbetween days, the days where I take care of everything else. I found myself… not really able to do anything. Anything work related, at any rate.

A few weeks ago, after Acen, i was facing the task of not only having a myriad of things to do, but my organization had fallen off and i really needed to regroup. I managed to do this, and by the beginning of this week i was feeling a whole hell of a lot better about things…. but something still didn’t feel right. Stress is a funny thing, it is cumulative. I don’t think there is any one thing that i’m super stressed out about, but its all of this little stuff, none of them really have high stress nodes (except the normal pressure to try to produce a good comic and do it on time, probably the highest and most difficult stress item in my life — hence the reason why most break days are comic days But the little things can add up, and sometimes that is what can leave you feeling stressed out and not knowing why.

High pressure times are actually easier for me to deal with than ‘regrouping’ times, i think. When you are under serious pressure for a deadline or something coming up, you just drop all of the minor stress nodes and focus on the big picture. After the high stress stuff is over, when you are trying to pick up the little pieces and threads of all the other stuff you pushed aside, thats the kind of weird, cumulative, frustrating kinda stress that you aren’t sure what to do with.

I sometimes forget that its ok to need a break from that too. So, i took a bit of a break yesterday. Was this entirely my idea? No. Seraphim is not only my conscience, she is safety officer :P. She said everyone needs a day off here and there. You can’t work 7 days a week without something cracking. The main thing that suffered? this poor blog, and my rant (like they dont suffer enough). A few other things too, but nothing that will kill anyone.

What did I do? Yard work, mostly. That’s not so bad. It was a nice day, it needed doing. Did i goof off? Yeah. think i must have watched 5 episodes of Mahoraba last night. I’m almost caught up (been watching raws. god, i love this show).

Hopefully i have my head on straight today. I think i do. I even think i’ll dive into that MT rant this morning and see about getting that done. If i can get todays comic done more or less on time, that will make this a fairly decent week. Next week, i’m going to focus on getting the comics done an hour or so early, so i can actually (gasp) post them on time.

Ya, like that’s gonna happen

… oh, almost forgot. I did pick up a new pair of headphones. A pair of Sony MDR-EX71SL earbuds. They aren’t bad, tho i have to say i hate the cord and i’m not used to having sound blocked out completely like these do, but they are comfortable and sound good. That gives me a reasonably decent small portable set of headphones… i’m still thinking i’d like something better for desktop use. I’m thinking about a pair of Grados of all things… and a headphone amp. THIS is why i should never really think too hard about these things, maybe the impulse to do this will go away…

- pirotunes: Groove Armada - A Private Interlude -

Ok, this is kinda dumb, but… i have now managed to break my favorite headphones - both pairs. ^^;; I can still use them, but they aren’t… really right anymore, and i really need to think about getting a new pair or two.

I’m a little bit weird about heaphones. I don’t tend to like the same kind of heaphones others like, and i’m really particular about what i’m comfortable wearing. For instance, i really dislike heaphones that don’t have an over the top of the head headband (like the standard I-pod headphones). Also, i don’t like the kind of headphones that cover the ears - i like to be able to hear things going on around me. In fact, i tend to listen to music in my left ear only. Yes, i know, thats kinda weird, but i hate it when people try to talk to me and i can’t hear them, and hate it when people do it to me. it’s a habit that comes from years of working in architecture offices.

The weird thing is… a few months ago, the right side of one of my pairs of headphones stopped working. Thats ok, i usually only listen to the left anyway. I still had a ‘good’ pair that was good for ’stereo’ listening. Yesterday i discovered that the cord to the (once again) right side of my GOOD headphones was… severed.

Oy veh. Yeah, both pairs are still technically usable for me, but… come on, i have to have a nice pair of stereo headphones to listen to Kozue-cha–

er, right. Anyways, the pairs in question are both Sony MDR-A34 headphones. In the ear, folding, black and simple. Nice standard, nice Sony headphones. I’m not even sure if these are still available - probably not. So, that being the case, i’m looking for recommendations. I tend to use them listening to my ipod and my computer (both my desktop and my laptop). Personally, i think the standard ipod headphones don’t sound that good - i’d like something that has decent quality but doesn’t have to be Sennheisers or anything… or maybe i shoud? I dunno…

suggestions welcome

- pirotunes: Small Life Form - Small -

Heheh, man, this week is just like some kinda run away train. it just keeps going and i feel like i just gotta hang on. ^^;;;

I had to get the lawn mowed this morning, and i barely got it done before it rained, but at least it looks ok now. It really sprouted up while we were gone over the weekend, and of course all the people around us had managed to trim thier lawns nicely - ours was really looking like, uh, like crap.

Sarah got me Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell audiobook on CD, and yay, it’s quite good. I tend to listen to audiobooks while drawing sometimes, and this is a nice one to add to the collection. I alwauys wonder how much, if any, of what i am listening to gets into my drawings… i dunno, you’d be suprised what i was listening to sometimes for some of the things i’ve drawn for Megatokyo.

I really have to start doing some promotional stuff for the store. My low-key approach to not pushing merchandise is nice, but it’s not very smart. Ahh, if only there was a way to keep things afloat without having to ever pimp stuff. I hate pushing merchandise, and goods, and getting people to buy stuff. It’s ok when it just happens, but i hate… pimping. I really do. But i guess i’ll need to - there’s some interesting products in the works and i better start building up some interest in them.

Speaking of prmotions, i wanted to link this ebay auction that Vaz from Underpower is running right now. He was casting about looking for ideas for something to draw to put up for bid, so i tossed him some ideas. I like vaz’s style, and i’ve seen him do a lot of very deep, sensitive peices, and i i wanted to see him take my Memai sketch and do something with it. This is what he did - not bad at all. I figured someone reading this might find it worth getting.

and on that note, i have GOT to get to work on fridays comic. Once i get that done, i think most of my wild ride this week is over. I think. Actually… no, i still have a lot to do tomorrow ^^;;;;

the only good thing about this week and the run away nature of it it is that it hasn’t thrown me off yet. I just need to ride this through till tomorrow This weekend, i’m very much looking forward to sitting down and devouring a little something i got in the mail yesterday - Flight, volume 2. That’s something to look forward to. (i’d link the main site itself, but it seems to be down. You can try it, maybe it’s up.)

- pirotunes: Solid Doctor - Lights On The Vibe -

I swear, i am sitting here today wondering just what friggin day it is I thought it was monday. My life rotates around the comic posting times, so when a comic is as late as monday’s was, well, it makes my week seem off by a day. Not that big a deal, i think i’m awake now, so my brain has accepted that it is tuesday.

I’m going to pull my thoughts together for a quick Acen recap for the Megatokyo site, then i have to get to work on Wednesday’s comic. I’ve been spending the morning scrambling to try to take care of the 1000 little things that i have to do now that i’m back and… ugh.

Honestly, i feel like just crawling up in a little ball today. it was a long, far more tiring than usual weekend. I feel a little better than yesterday, but that’s just a relative thing.

- pirotunes: Urchin - Candlelight from “Urchin” -

I get emails all the time from ‘experts’ who say i am in desperate need of an editor. I usually don’t reply, but i know for a fact that i’m pretty intolerant of anyone trying to direct my creative work (which is one reason why i really shouldn’t be doing this for a living). It’s not ego, its more about the fact that writing and drawing this stuff is so personal for me that i don’t want any input. It’s kind of like letting someone stand behind you and tell you how to brush your teeth, or what you should watch on TV, or … how you should feel. It doesn’t work that way for me.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that you should just throw caution to the wind and do whatever the hell you feel like. That’s not good either - we’ve all seen the “its my art, you can all go to hell!!” attitudes that people get. I have no delusions that my work might overall be “better” (such a relative term) if i had professionals editing what i do. I have been attempting to work with somewhat of a middle ground - being able to look objectively at my own work and self edit, to listen to my inner editor.

I think that when you have as much self doubt as i do, it only makes sense to put some of that to work and make itself useful. Every once and a while i find myself stuck on something and i don’t really know why, only to realize later, as i sit down and look at it from another angle, that there was a better way to do it, that i need to approach it differently. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, and while it has added to the time needed to do comics, it has made Chapter 6 a hella lot better than Chapter 5, which i just plowed forward with without ’self editing’

Sorta ended up doing that again today. I know why i was not happy with the comic i was working on, and i’ve changed my tact. Puts me behind (as usual) but it will make for a better comic.

Anyways, enough of that. I really gotta get to work… so friggin much to do today its scary.

- pirotunes: Baby Mammoth - Lazy -

The biggest problem with going to conventions is … going to them Since we’re going to be having a MegaGear booth at Anime Central this year, it just makes going to Acen that much more… complicated. Oh, it’s fun in its own way, but i still have 2 comics to finish this week and i am already feeliing the pressure of our ‘gotta be on the road for Chicago’ deadline on thursday.

In my usual quest for some kind of pen that i’m comfortable signing and drawing with, i picked up a few more pens to try - the Uniball Vision Eliete isn’t bad, the Statler Liquid Point 7 is ok… I really like the Uniball Signo Gel Grip pen - too bad its a Medium point, thats too thick for me to draw with. (sigh) I’ll just have to stick with the big box of Sharpie Extra Fine point pens. Bleah. I’m learning to hate those things Someone took one of my beloved Pilot G5 pencils at my last signing (a yellow one (sniff)) so i’m kinda loath to use any of my normal pencils anymore. I guess it was bound to happen eventually. Kinda wish they hadn’t taken it, tho. Oh well.

Gotta get back to comicking. Need to get fridays script nailed down and get cracking on the drawings for wednesday. Whee.

- pirotunes: - Big Muff - Poppy’s Song -

Last night Seraphim and I squeezed into Wizzywigs just as they were closing, more to just say hi than actually buy anything (I still have a bunch of DVDs that i purchased months ago that I still haven’t watched) but doh, as always, there was something. I think Greg was just WAITING for me to show up, because he instantly went back and grabbed something that he knew i’d want - the Clannad Visual Fan Book.

Damn. Of course, yeah, i had to get the damn thing.

One of the problems with Clannad is that the base of artwork for the game really isn’t that large. Much of the art in the book is art i’ve seen in a number of other places, and even with the sketches and development drawings there isn’t a lot new here. It’s a beautiful book, and i’m glad to have it, but… it really feels almost empty compared to the Kanon and Air visual art books.

The lack of ’support art’ is a problem i worry about myself. One of the biggest things missing in Megatokyo is a solid base of ’support art’ - the kind of stuff you can throw together as a calendar or grab to make banners, or simply just draw inspiration from. That’s the trouble with doing a ‘comic’ - you have to do so many drawings as it is, its hard to sit down and do stuff that branches out from it, and helps define things.

Not that long ago i talked about the fact that i needed to put my laptop down and pick up the sketchbook more. I haven’t really done that, and i think that i need to get serious about doing it. I need more support art for my projects… not only does Fredart need more sketchage, but i draw a lot of inspiration from drawings, and its from drawings that most of my best ideas come from. Besides, it’d be nice to do a Megatokyo Visual Fan Book someday…

Uwahhhh… damnit. I hate it when i put up a comic or get to a point where people are actually, like, really happy with it.

Eh? Why is that? Why on earth not be immensely pleased with myself for finishing a sequence of comics people really seem to like a lot? Is there something wrong with my head? Well, yeah, but that’s not what i’m referring to here. I wonder if other people in the entertainment business feel this… and if they don’t, i think some of them should because they often do at a later date anyway…

The problem with doing something successful is that your future work is always compared to your successful work in the past. The more “good” work you do, the harder it is to to keep meeting the expectations created by that “good” work.

I fight with that all the time with Megatokyo. There is always the classic “it was better back when…” stuff. Actually, if you think about it, we all have artists, writers, groups, etc, where we read their latest book, or listen to their latest album and are disappointed because their LAST one was so damn good. I suppose it’s a natural thing, and you can’t avoid it to some extent, but I really don’t like disappointing people.

So here i sit, struggling with the next comic, all worried about where things go from here and trying to trust that part of my brain that makes all this work. I’m not saying that the rest of this chapter is gonna be lame, because i really don’t think it will be - but i still worry. With satisfaction comes expectation, and managing that with a long running story isn’t easy.

I guess i just happen to respect that and understand it, and thats why i’m sitting here stupidly worried about the rest of chapter 6 even though i probably shouldn’t be. It’s been going good so far, i just don’t want to flub it…

- pirotunes: Ill Niño - Liar from “Revolution/Revolucion” -