I’m not feeling very funny right now.
I suppose it’s normal and just part of being human, and these kinds of things don’t change overnight, or swing in predictable ways. Writing is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and the hardest parts are always when you are cutting new paths and clearing away brush to create new material. It’s a very hard process to quantify, and it’s been making me unusually sullen and quiet in recent weeks. For that, i apologize.
There are other things on my mind too. The nature of having a site like Megatokyo is that a good chunk of your life is on display for thousands of people to see, and there are a lot of things i tend to keep to myself. This blog and other rants on the MT site sound enough like Live Journals as it is. I’m not a big person for excuses, and i try not to give reasons for why things are every late, or why im having problems with things… so, of course, people just assume i’m lazy. Thats ok, i’d rather people think that than share many of the problems i sometimes have to deal with. That’s the nature of having a personal life that really isn’t important for other people to know about.
That said, sometimes things are big enough that i should say something, to at least give some reason for more lengthy delays (or potential delays). My sister, Jennifer, is in the hospital because they have been having problems with her pregnancy. Things will probably be ok in the long run, but it’s been a difficult process for Jen and Mike. As you might guess, and since it’s a bit of a drive to get to where they are, this will have some effect on the schedule of things this week and prolly next to some degree (because i am in development on a lot of things) so… please bear with me, and i appreciate your patience.
This, of course, is not the only reason i’ve been feeling sombre… i’m not sure really what it is, but part of it is being reflected in my being torn between two Omake ideas. One of them is not unlike Grand Theft Colo (tho it is quite different) - the same kinda no holds bared kinda thing that i like to do sometimes. A little wacky, a little disturbing, a little crazy. People like them well enough. The problem is, i have another idea, and its far more serious, and sombre, and thats the one i want to do… i’m just not sure i could get away with it.
I might do it anyway, because the Omake really is more about me getting a short release from the bonds of the MT story and the major structures it has. A release from that doesnt mean i have to do crazy things, it just means i have to do things that stretch muscles that i haven’t stretched in a while… and i suppose i have a desire to follow my nose.
The positive thing, however, is that for some reason i’m drawing a lot. I’ve been sketching and drawing a LOT, and that’s a good thing. I suppose i’m, as usual, turning to the one thing that lets my emotive ideas seep out into something tangible… and its something that just happens.
- pirotunes: Paxahau: Paxahau… Detroit’s Electronic Music Resource -
Fred,
You, like most true artists, expose much of your psyche in your art; It’s not for those who enjoy your art to dictate it; That’s not how it works. I think you know this. While many of us appreciate the explanation, I can honestly say I don’t require one. I simply accept that you will draw what you want, when you want, and I will be able to enjoy it here when you’re ready.
A very introspective point for you regarding your creative process; I think you dwell upon your own perceived shortcomings too much. If this is an active part of your creative process, then I apologize. If it is not, can I offer you a reassurance?
Many writers haven’t the slightest clue about where their story is going until it gets there. I’m not talking about a commercial, formula writer, who has an outline and a set path, and who does a bunch of preliminary work before just connecting the literary dots…
…I’m talking about the true artist who works In The Now, putting together a sensory gestalt from his own mind, onto paper or whatever medium he chooses, for his own satisfaction, for others to interpret and relate to as they desire.
Relax. Not all of us have MTV attention spans. You gotta get your stuff together for a couple of days? No worries. I’m gonna crack a sixpack and watch the hurricane go by.
We’ll still be here.
Another tortured writer,
DG (PS: When I wrote this, it had paragraphs — apparently I am not computer savvy enough to make this particular nuance translate well to the post. Apologies.)
Best wishes to your sister and the rest of your family, Fred.
Also, do what you think is right. All of your readers will understand.
Heck, we’ll enjoy anything you have to dish out to us.
-Queso =^..^=